Friday 7 November 2014

Update and My Summer

I just wanted to update everyone about my situation from the past few days.
I've been very ill so I've been spending my time in bed either sleeping or trying to sleep so not much has been happening in terms of experiments. There have been a few cases I've tried to use the method for experiment 2 but there isn't much to say.
Due to this I have decided I will be carrying out the experiment for two weeks and I will do a summary at the end of week 1 to let people know how I've got on.

To give people something to read I'm going to take a blog post I made on my other blog a while ago about what I did this summer. I think it's an interesting blog post as I did a lot of thing I have never done before and never thought I would do so I took a big step out of comfort zone. There were some good parts and bad parts this summer and there's also some pictures to go with it.
(If you would like to see my reviews & photography blog the link is: http://bandupdateswb.wordpress.com)

First I’d like to summarise what I’ve been doing recently before going into detail on the post subject. I have been mentored (and continue to be) by my mentor, Ben. He works for ACCA and has been such a great help to me in terms of giving me advice and pushing me to set myself goals so I can achieve what I want. So I’m saying thank you to him and taking the time out of his day to see me and help me improve so many things. I’d honestly suggest him as a mentor to anyone who needs one in South Wales because he’s been the biggest help I’ve had in ages and just genuinely great to have a conversation with.
Also I worked in the operations support department (basically a human resourcing department but for just the site I was located) for Lloyd’s Banking for 6 weeks which was an amazing experience for me since I want to go into business. I met a variety of interesting people and I got to find out what they do and how they make a difference. I was amazed how such a small building can have so much work and it really gave me some realisation to what it’s like in a job that’s within the industry I want to be apart of. Obviously I can’t tell you much about this experience because the majority of it is confidential – sorry. But I feel really lucky I got this chance and for anyone who wants a job in the business industry I highly suggest doing an internship. The team I worked with was great and they even gave me a card and present (unfortunately that’s been eaten now.. oops) as a thank you!
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Now on to the the really interesting stuff! 
This year I went to Reading Festival and I must say I had my ups and downs. On the up-side there were loads of bands I got to see that I LOVE and there we’re lots of exclusive songs! The festival side of reading was really fun and the crowds we’re so enthusiastic it made me feel so happy because I love the environment at gigs so I was glad I got a lot of that. Also I liked that not only did you see a few bands but a lot of bands. Each day there were at least 5 bands (with 1 hour sets) that I wanted to see so I was pretty much in my utopia. Then you get a wristband at the festival which you keep at the end which I will never take off! (except maybe for showering). Unfortunately I didn’t get to take too many photos apart from when I was sitting and listening to bands because I didn’t want to loose it in the crowd.
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photo 1(1) photo 2
However there are some downsides to Reading Festival and for me that would be the camping. When I arrived at Reading it was absolutely packed and it was only mid-day. My friend and I ended up having to shove our tent on the edge of a path because there wasn’t anywhere else to pitch it which was frustrating. This meant that there was kicking. Lots and lots of kicking. People were tripping over our tent and falling on our tent (because they were drunk… EVEN IF THEY WERE 14). After the first night our 4 man tent had already broken on the outside and by the second night the zips had broken so we had to go buy another tent from the local supermarket. All night there we’re drunk kids running everywhere screaming even though the music and attractions close at midnight. When I looked outside the tent to see what the noise was I saw it was mostly kids that had been drinking under-age which I found shocking as I wasn’t drinking and I’m 18. Luckily our tent neighbours were 18 and sensible with drinking… The only other negative thing I have to say about Reading was that they created a queue system to get back into the festival. There was a Tesco nearby which lots of people went to so they could get cheaper food and alcohol. However they had a created a queue system that if you didn’t cut into (which I did) then it would take you over an hour to get back in which could then mean you end up missing an act you want to see and there wasn’t even a reason for this system!
So if you set aside the camping side of reading, the loud children and queue’s it’s actually a great event with a variety of music. There’s lots of ways of avoiding these negatives however I turned up when there we’re barely any spaces and I went into the field (purple – for personal reference) where the kids set up rather than orange where older people set up so it was quieter.
Here’s a list of the bands I saw on each day;
FRIDAY:
  • Queens of the Stone Age
  • Paramore
  • Enter Shikari
  • Jimmy Eat World
  • Gerard Way (debut exclusive)
  • Deaf Havana
SATURDAY:
  • Arctic Monkey’s 
  • Imagine Dragon’s
  • Foster the people
  • The Hives
  • Of Mice and Men
  • Band of Skulls
  • Wolf Alice
  • Beardyman
SUNDAY:
  • Blink 182
  • You Me at Six (My 3rd time seeing them live!)
  • A Day to Remember – as a side note this was the best gig out of them all and Jeremy is an amazing performer!
  • Sleeping with Sirens
  • Papa Roach
  • Tonight Alive
  • Jungle – You should check them out! Not very well known
Here’s a picture of all the acts that were at reading so you can see the variety of acts (because I went to see more alternative acts)
reading line up
Overall I think this is a great weekend and if you love music (and alcohol) then you will love this event. However if you’re camping there over the weekend I suggest getting an Early-bird ticket. It definitely seems worth the money.
Thanks for reading my post! I hope there was some helpful information from my experience!

Wednesday 5 November 2014

Experiment 2 - Day 2

Today I've been feeling ill as well as anxious so it hasn't been that great.
I was in college all day and I was having one of those days where I can't do anything because I feel anxious and want to roll into a ball and sleep away my emotions.

I tried using the technique where you accept you're anxious and it really didn't make a difference to how I was feeling. I ended up spending a whole day in college doing nothing but sit there and sulk (well, feel anxious but I looked as if I was sulking). Lucky for me I always get my work done ahead of time so there was nothing I was in a rush to finish - I feel like I should thank anxiety for that because the reason I do all my work ASAP is because of it.

I felt disappointed about the results but in a way I almost predicted that this method wouldn't work in this situation but I still had high hopes.

Thank you for reading and I hope this was helpful!

Tuesday 4 November 2014

Experiment 2 - Day 1

Now experiment 2 is something I was shocked was even a suggestion made by a psychologist but I felt I should give it the benefit of the doubt. This experiment is

"ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE ANXIOUS"

Now to me this sounds like a very odd concept and I do not yet understand how this is meant to help people feel less anxious because it's not like overcoming an addiction it's an illness. I may have a slight understanding on what this psychologist is trying to get across because from their teachings they probably thinking of this as a mind trick. By telling yourself you are anxious and that you accept this you will ultimately feel less anxious due to your acceptance as you won't be panicking about having anxiety.

However after day 1 I have found this is not the case for me. I feel anxious about things in general and not about having anxiety itself and because I have panic disorder this means my anxiety can come out of nowhere for no reason and cause a panic attack. After having a panic attack today I have found that accepting I am anxious did not reduce the symptoms and my panic attacks just continued as it wanted. This does not mean it is an ineffective method as obviously I have to test this on more than one occasion.
I did feel anxious about going to work the next day and I think that this method may have some impact upon when you are feeling anxious about things that are going to happen. I told myself that I am an anxious person and I always feel this way about situations such as this one but 99% of the time it turns out fine. This temporarily calmed me down and put myself at ease until I started thinking about the situation again as you will usually do with anxiety.

After the first day of experiments I am willing to give the method a chance and see where it takes me.
Thank you for reading and I hope this has been helpful!

Saturday 1 November 2014

Experiment 1 - FINAL DAY

So today would be the final day of the first experiment to take deep breaths when you feel anxious. After today I will be starting my next experiment on the Monday so I have some time to write up the rest of my results.

Today I was visiting my friend in Exeter University so I had to take a long train journey down to the South of England. Public transport has always made me feel very anxious especially as I have social anxiety and you're often surrounded by large amounts of people.
I guess it was my luck to have somebody sit next to me before the train even left the station even though there we're lots of seats left on the train - because I found that odd it made me feel more anxious to why she sat next to me.
I was lucky that I'd only be on the train for an hour and then I'd have to change to another train but it was still a stressful hour.
I like to think of people with anxiety as coke cans that are constantly being shaken. You are constantly effected by pressures in the past, present and thinking about potential ones in the future so if you ever open up it's like when a coke can fizzes everywhere and explodes. To me that's like having a panic attack or when you hit your peak of anxiety so anything extra to add to the stress no matter how minor the issue is adding to that large build up of pressure inside.
The first train I got on had a stench of strong coffee and a dentist (and the dentist makes me feel anxious anyway). There was a child that felt the need scream whenever we went under a bride and the odd person who made the decision to sit next to me kept coughing everywhere and feeling her arms.
Although you'd think these things would be irrelevant to my day they built up on that pressure I was feeling because all those things made me feel uncomfortable and therefore anxious. I guess I was just fortunate enough to have a front facing seat because I get travel sick going backwards.
I took lots of deep breaths and the girl next to me seemed oblivious to it so I felt like I could carry on. I wasn't going to have a panic attack but I felt as if I was going to hit the peak of my anxiety any minute but taking deep breaths definitely helped with this.

Once I had gotten off the train I felt much better but I continued to take deep breaths to try get myself as calm as possible before getting on to the next train which lucky for me was a much more pleasant train journey.
I didn't feel that anxious for the rest of the day apart from the usual things I would feel anxious about but there wasn't anything to add to that feeling.

Overall I feel that the first experiment was a big success and it makes a difference in the majority of cases. Sometimes I feel the technique would be more effective for stress relief but part of anxiety can be feelings of stress so that may possibly be the reason why it works so well.
If anyone is suffering with anxiety I would definitely suggest this method as it has made a huge difference to me this week the only downside it that I can't use this technique until I've finished my other experiments!

Thank you for reading and I hope this has been helpful!

Wednesday 29 October 2014

Welcome to my Channel!

Experiment 1 - Day 6

Today I had a sort of laid back day. I didn't have anything important to do but I had a few small tasks I had to do which I felt slightly anxious about.

I first of all had to do food shopping and I forgot to bring a list with me of what I needed to get. This sounds like a very minor thing but I got anxious but more stressed about whether I needed the items I was buying or not as I make myself a meal plan for each day and I didn't want to waste my money. I bought a few of the wrong things but nothing major so I used the technique of taking deep breaths to cool down and it wasn't long until I felt fine again.
From this I've learnt that taking deep breaths really helps for when I am feeling slightly anxious rather than when I have severe feelings of anxiety.

Later on I was trying to edit the videos I had recorded to start off my YouTube channel but my video file was in the wrong format and I couldn't find a converter that would convert a .MOV file to .MP4 that was over 100MB so that made me feel anxious as I had a deadline to meet. So I tried using the technique to feel less anxious about the problem and once I had calmed down and had a break I went back to work.
Eventually I found my own method of getting the video on to my computer and into the format I needed (posted it privately to YouTube off my phone and downloaded it).

Overall, I had a relaxed day but deadlines were making me feel anxious. The technique of taking deep breaths definitely made a difference for me today and helped me finish my work in time.

I have now uploaded my introduction video to my channel. If anybody is interested in viewing it I will put the link here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ykPewD1aP0
Thank you for reading my blog and I hope that my work is helpful to those in need!